Rekindling Hope: Stories of Addiction, Recovery, and Redemption with Paul Fairchild

John Marshall | 00:08
Welcome to the humanity of homelessness. I'm John Marshall and this is a podcast from Church at the Park in Salem, Oregon. Since 2007, Church of the Park has created community with our neighbors living outside. Today, we get to offer collaborative navigation, emergency sheltering, workforce development, and supported housing for our neighbors in need. In each episode, we hear from a member of our community who is experiencing or has experienced homelessness. We invite them to share their story in their own words so that they and we might remember their goodness, their courage, their hope, and their humanity. You can find this podcast wherever podcasts are found. And it is helpful to us if you subscribe and share episodes that inspire you. Thanks to everyone for tuning in and joining us as we celebrate good news in the hardest, most unexpected places. In today's episode, we get to hear from Paul. - Paul is a member of our staff, currently serving as a case manager at our family shelter site. I got to know Paul well and learn bits of his story when he was previously a member of our outreach team, and it is no hyperbole to suggest that he embodies the way of being human that we seek here at Church of the Park. Which is to say, Paul reminds me a lot of Jesus. The story includes pain and darkness, but Paul has not let those threads of his narrative define his identity. Instead, he has transformed them into locations where grace and resilience and transformation live. In our Church of the Park community, Paul is an example of goodness and joy in the midst of chaos and brokenness, and his lived experience gives him eyes of compassion that I am envious of. I'm so grateful he's willing to share his story on the podcast and we hope you all enjoy. Paul, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for being here. How are you me.
Paul Fairchild | 01:49
Today? Good. Thanks for having.
John Marshall | 01:51
You bet, man. Your role currently is serving our families at our shelter site that we call CCS. What have been some of the agenda items in your world this week?
Paul Fairchild | 02:02
Currently, I'm working on getting a family housed. We just got their voucher. Which was referred by Marion County special voucher and special preference voucher. And now we're working on just getting some housing that's suitable for them and their disabled children. And that's pretty much what's been on my plate as of.
John Marshall | 02:28
Late. When you are working with a family and trying to identify... What sorts of housing is appropriate or even accessible? What are, what do you find are the common barriers that are standing in the way of folks that we're serving?
Paul Fairchild | 02:45
Well, currently, because, funding was cut for, rapid rehousing, that's been a pretty big barrier. Luckily, this family has a lot of support through, OHSU and other entities that are willing to help out with that.
John Marshall | 03:00
Yeah. And remind me, Because I got to know you personally when we were both in the outreach context. Remind me how recently was it you transitioned to the CCS.
Paul Fairchild | 03:11
Site? So I've been at the CCS site for about, I'd say about eight to nine months now. Which I think it was like August of last year, I transferred over.
John Marshall | 03:23
What have you noticed as being particulars of a shelter context versus outreach and like the flavor of relationship that you get to develop with the folks on your.
Paul Fairchild | 03:33
Caseload? Yeah, it brings like its own challenges and it's its own rewards.
So like I get to actually follow through with people. I have less people dropping off my caseload. There's still a few, but. But I get to actually follow through and follow that family all the way to their housing journey.
So it's kind.
John Marshall | 03:52
Of cool. Yeah. You are someone who I know has a long history of and familiarity. With the world of homelessness. What compelled you in the first place? To become someone who would walk with and help other human beings through their own journeys.
Paul Fairchild | 04:13
Like ever since I was little or like, I always kind of knew like I wanted to help people. But like, you know, like the responsibilities of like being a dude and like having to provide for my family kind of led me to like other job. Opportunities.
So I got into like manufacturing. But that was due to my incarceration, because that limited a lot of opportunities for me when I was especially back in like the early 2000s. There was no ban the box, there was no none of that stuff.
So getting a job, or you're working with others to help people wasn't really an option to me in my head at that time. Now we've kind of come to the... The realization that peer support and lived experience is useful.
So that's kind of like where I thrived. And I was able to actually use some of that darkness to the benefit of.
John Marshall | 05:04
Others. Yeah.
Well, I want to make sure that there's opportunity for you to share how those experiences have informed your approach to the work that you're up to. And the place that is always most helpful for me to start is at the very beginning.
So start with just defining what was home for you in the earliest years of your life. What was the first definition of home? Where did you grow up? And what was childhood even like for you?
Paul Fairchild | 05:29
So. I was born in Tacoma, Washington. 1985. And it was a, it was had ups and downs. My mom was a pretty bad alcoholic.
So we moved a lot. There was a lot of chaos involved. We just always moved.
And then so I lived in one house in Tacoma on Steel Street. For about 10 years until I was about 10. And that was really cool because it got me to actually make friends. I was able to stay in the same school. And even though there was like alcoholism and abuse going on, like I was able to at least kind of have some normalcy of life for a little bit. After my mom lost her employment and we lost the rental of the house, we kind of started moving a lot more frequently. And that's kind of when things fell apart and I started moving into family members' houses. I'd move in with my aunt, my grandma. A lot of different places and it was pretty tough on me honestly.
John Marshall | 06:32
When I'm... Catching and what you were just sharing is, a significant theme of instability or inconsistency as significant as like the, The stability of a physical location to call your own, the instability of the relationship with your mom, and who... Was in your orbit and who you were creating a relationship with so how in the world did you begin to? To make sense of your place in the world and your value, and how did you cope with a world that seemed to be changing constantly around you?
Paul Fairchild | 07:06
Honestly, I think I was in survival mode and I think I've been on survival mode since almost till just recently where I've actually been able to kind of work on myself and get therapy. Things like that.
John Marshall | 07:20
Yeah. So in those earliest years, What were the things that you remember being sources of joy and goodness and happiness and gladness?
Like where were you finding opportunity to just be a kid?
Paul Fairchild | 07:34
Yeah, so, you know, I like to climb trees. I mean, I'd climb the tallest trees. And one time I got so high up and it was the stem was so small in the tree that we had to call the fire department to come get me. You So, you know, I would it was the 80s.
So, you know, we would be out playing, you know, getting our knees cut. You know, we had, I had a Nintendo system, so I spent time on that a lot.
John Marshall | 07:58
And was your house the place where all the buddies would come over and play Nintendo with you and climb trees with you?
Paul Fairchild | 08:02
Not necessarily. Some of them would.
Yeah. Yeah.
Some of them would.
John Marshall | 08:07
What I know of your story is that one, homelessness entered the equation. Pretty early in your teenage years. And two, Substances became a part of your story as well. Pretty early on. Right. What was your... Introduction. To both of those things. What was it that... Influenced you and your mom towards that experience of.
Paul Fairchild | 08:35
Life? Yeah.
So like seeing my mom at early age drinking, like all the time, I was introduced to alcohol really early, probably like 12. And then.
Soon after that, you know, I'd hang out with my cousins and we were all around the same age. And we all came from like families that had, you know, pretty severe, you know, breakdowns in the family.
So my aunt... She's physically disabled from a car wreck. And she's struggled alcohol abuse, drug abuse her whole life. Basically, we were drinking and smoking weed most of the time, which, you know, you can actually survive and not get too bad if you're doing that alone. But we eventually, you know, couldn't cover up the pain with that.
So we ended up, you know, using meth with my aunt. So this With just my aunt.
John Marshall | 09:27
Is you as a teenager using meth with your mom and your aunt.
Paul Fairchild | 09:32
My mom never used meth, thankfully. Okay.
Yeah.
John Marshall | 09:35
And what impact did that have on your own? Quality of life.
Paul Fairchild | 09:41
Well, being addicted to meth at a young age obviously is not ideal. I mean, honestly, like I wasn't going to school. I was having sex. I was doing all the things that you shouldn't do at that age.
John Marshall | 09:57
My assumption. Is that, as you said... Those substances were form of coping with the pain of life.
Paul Fairchild | 10:06
Great.
John Marshall | 10:07
Where were you spending most of your life and what was the pain that you were encountering? In those teenage years.
Paul Fairchild | 10:15
It kind of varied. It was kind of because of the instability. I was, you know, at different people's houses, my mom's house sometimes.
So my grandma actually let us rent one of the properties that she owned. So we kind of had a good deal on that in Auburn, Washington. And but Auburn, I don't know if you've ever had any knowledge of Auburn, but it's pretty wild out there. And like, you know, I was just. Getting in fights.
You know, getting my shoes taken at, you know, at the age of 13 out there at the bus stops. And, you know, so it was rough out there. A lot of meth addicts. A lot of violence.
John Marshall | 10:52
So 12, 13, 14, this is kind of the period of life that you're first experiencing housing instability, homelessness. Living at your mom's house, couch surfing with some buddies, finding that drugs and alcohol are a really easy and accessible coping mechanism. How long do you extend that chapter of life into adulthood?
Paul Fairchild | 11:16
I had like brief moments of sobriety. Actually, not brief. I was sober. The longest I was sober so far has been seven years. And that was when I got out of prison, which we'll talk about in a minute. But a lot of that time was on supervision.
So it was, you know. They were, I knew they were watching me and I didn't want to go back to jail or prison.
So I did what I had to do to get through it. My mindset wasn't really changed. And so, yeah, I just, I kind of had to get to a point where I wanted to change and change my mindset altogether.
John Marshall | 11:53
Was your experience with incarceration Part of what allowed your mind to change? Was it an influence in a mindset shift?
Paul Fairchild | 12:02
It definitely changed the way I thought. It helped me to get more fit mentally, spiritually, physically built muscle memory.
So I even use that today still as I work out. So yeah, it's definitely changed who I am. It's helped me to overcome obstacles and fears and really taught me like structure. But yeah. But honestly, like where I'm at now in life is so much better now. Than anywhere I've been, so. I'm just grateful for like the present.
John Marshall | 12:34
I'm grateful for that too. And I'm grateful that even seven years of sobriety. Is a part of your story at all. - Yeah. - And that's a big deal, regardless of what allowed you to experienced those seven years. But I know incarceration is a significant piece of how you understand your place in the world today.
So I want to make sure there's space for you to share that part of your story. In your own words.
So talk to us about what was that period of your life like? What was it about? How did you end up there?
Paul Fairchild | 13:04
So, I broke up with the mother of my kids. We all had a relapse in the family. And I kind of went buck wild and... From that point, I started selling lots of drugs. Using lots of drugs. This is like in 2004. That's when the drugs were like really strong. So. It really took a hold of me at that point. It was like I've been addicted my whole life. But like at this point, this was like I was really addicted.
So yeah, I kind of like just embrace the criminal lifestyle, just selling drugs and building up clientele to continue to make money in that way. So that's kind of how I lived my life for, let's see, until about 2008 when I actually got caught. My supply ran out. My supplier kind of cut me off. Because she didn't like my girlfriend.
So that put a wrench in the gears for sure. I ended up... Stealing a lot. Going into buildings, breaking into stuff. I went on a burglary spree. And got caught for like nine of them. That's how I ended up in.
John Marshall | 14:20
Prison. - In prison, the sentencing was for burglary? - Yeah. - Okay, and how long were you in jail?
Paul Fairchild | 14:28
- They sentenced me to 60 months. I got, luckily I got a drug offender sentence alternative in Washington State.
So that was, basically they cut it in half. And then the other half you serve on the outside as long as you're not violating.
John Marshall | 14:43
What I'm struck with is that in a relatively short lifespan. Almost every... Stop in your story includes: Significant relational brokenness. That even those who you had in your orbit, whether they were consistent or not, were just... Unhealthy relationships. And some of the stories that I hear from folks who have similar stories as you and folks that we serve will say that one of the things that made it so hard to exit that reality of life was that there was no imagination for a better community. That At the very least, as unhealthy as the relationships may have been around him, at least they were relationships that they could call their own. And I'm curious if you would say anything similar about your own relationships, and I'm wondering if... The experience of incarceration was a in some way an interruption to brokenness and then an opportunity to reimagine something better for yourself.
Paul Fairchild | 15:50
Yeah, definitely. Like, I do understand. I sometimes I still miss some of the friends that I had. But I understand that, like, you know, they're in a different space than I am. They're on a different level, basically, than I am. And I can't, there's no way I can go back to those relationships. A lot of the reason why I came to Salem from Seattle was to get away from those, you know, decades of communities that I've built out there. I do have love for a lot of the people that I used to hang out with. Even today, I still say hi sometimes and stuff.
Yeah, I still love them as people. I just, you know, I know a lot of them. Want to get free from that, but they're just, that's just all they know. That's like, they've been doing it for so long. It's part of their community. And they can't see a way out of it and see it, like have an imagination for a better way.
So yeah. I'm just lucky that, you know, I was able to start over again for the fourth time.
John Marshall | 16:52
Yeah. So say more about that comment for the fourth time.
So was incarceration the starting point of a brand new healed life or did it take some time to reestablish stability for.
Paul Fairchild | 17:06
Yourself? So that's when I started getting into manufacturing.
So it did lead to a pretty good, stable period of my life. I worked for a place called Pioneer Human Services. They're a social enterprise that helps people reenter into society that have faced incarceration. And so they work directly with Boeing. And so we were able to learn all the skills needed to basically get a job in any aerospace company. I worked there for like seven years on and off. And it really helped me. I was really appreciative that they would give me a chance to like... And they put me in one of the most advanced areas. I just kind of got lucky. I was just like hanging out in the area and was like, and the boss was just like, you want to start working with us? And I was like, yes, absolutely. And so I just got super lucky, worked my butt off, screwed a lot of stuff up. I made all my mistakes then. And so, you know, going further on when I did go to other companies. I had more experience. I was able to have knowledge of like what to do in certain situations when making airplane parts. And so that's kind of, that's how that worked out. I love that place. They provide housing.
So they gave me an apartment three times. They gave me an apartment. Once you start working there, they give you they can give you the option of getting an apartment in their organization. They have apartments around the Seattle area. I got an apartment in Capitol Hill. For $800 a month.
And then I got an apartment in Auburn, Washington for like $600 a month. And they take half the money of your rent out from your biweekly checks.
So that was like, that really like helped me to like kind of get stabilized and like understand how to pay bills and that kind of thing. So it was really helpful and I really have a lot of love for them.
John Marshall | 19:10
I'm so curious as I listen to it. I go, that's an amazing setup. To have work, to have shelter, and to do it in a context where there's seeming a willingness to let you fail and try again and fail and try again.
So there's this developmental piece of that context. And I go, why would you leave? That. And why would you come to Salem?
Yeah. So what was the transition from that part of life to where you are now?
Paul Fairchild | 19:40
I honestly, I just make bad choices when I'm in Seattle. So I just decided it was time to break the pattern. I, after I got out of prison and did my three years on probation, I did pretty good for a couple years. I had a condo in West Seattle with my wife. I had a nice car. I had a good job. But I relapsed. I was drinking.
Still, and I've come to realize at this point in my life that alcohol is just not worth it for me. To continue drinking because it just makes me make bad decisions. And that's just part of my story. And like, I just a realization I'm going to have to cope with. I do get tempted, but like I just keep remembering like. Alcohol will lead to drugs and I just I'm just not normal in that way so.
John Marshall | 20:33
So leaving Seattle was an attempt to remove yourself from a context. That seem to set you up to make mistakes. What has your experience been with Salem? Has it been what you've hoped it to be?
Paul Fairchild | 20:46
Salem has been a lot better for me. I don't know a lot of the people here, so I am excited. A lot less likely to like get into that reminiscent relationship where like we're talking about the good old days and about how we... Broke into this, we, you know, made this money with each other, we, you know, did all these things.
So it's helped me to kind of just start over, start fresh. And have like a new story ingrained into like the actual community.
Like we're at Seattle, like there's all these like negative memories. And, you know, I'm not going to say they weren't always fun. There were some fun times. But they were fun in the wrong way.
So now I'm having fun in positive ways. I'm helping the community. I'm out doing outreach with people. I'm serving with churches. I'm doing all kinds of things that are positive and help building the community up.
So it's definitely a better vibe as far as when I see Salem, I don't think of chaos and corruption. Even though there are probably some of.
John Marshall | 21:54
That. Well, I'm grateful to know that at least your experience has been. Different than what you came from. How recently did you move to Salem?
Paul Fairchild | 22:05
I moved here February 1st.
John Marshall | 22:08
- Of - Okay, and was it at that time that you started working with us at Church of the Park?
Paul Fairchild | 22:09
Which year? - Of 2023. - No, I went through Bridgeway. To get kind of sober off fentanyl because at that point I had already started using fentanyl. And that was due to my homelessness in Seattle, like in 2020 time.
So like when I, in 2020, 2018, actually, I. Left my job at Boeing. My mom had passed away and that really caused a lot of like painful stress on my life. I've never lost anybody that's meant that much to me. And so I went totally off the wall and I was already drinking.
So that was like, you know, that's another reason why I know I can't drink. And so like. I think like the inhibition of like alcohol and then the stress of my mom passing away, it was like way too much for me. And I lost everything. I lost my house. I lost my job at Boeing. And I just kind of started living in my car. And so I did that for a long time, for about two years. I was actually able to purchase another car during that time.
So I had a van and a car. I slept in my van and I drove around the city in my car. But then like finding places to park was always an issue. Always getting like tags on my car for like saying they're going to tow it. And so that was like a big issue for me. But after that, I ended up becoming homeless because I started I lost both my vehicles in one day, which was insane.
John Marshall | 23:42
Tell me that story.
Paul Fairchild | 23:44
I was like looking for my girlfriend. In this housing project in Sandpoint, There was like this overgrown grass on the side of the road. And so it just looked like grass, but like I drove into it to try to park and it was a ditch. And so I spent about, you know, five hours trying to get this damn van out of the ditch. Had people trying to help me and do all this stuff. I put a note in the door that said like, you know, this is my home, please do not tow, blah. But like, there was nothing I could really do.
So I lost that car and on the same exact day was the same day that I was supposed to put my alternator in my Honda or they were going to tow it. So I lost two vehicles in one day.
John Marshall | 24:30
What did you do from there?
Paul Fairchild | 24:31
Started hanging out with friends way too much. So I was staying in a friend's apartment a lot, you know, eventually overstayed my welcome. Which, you know, is not hard to do.
And then. So like a year after that, I started staying outside.
John Marshall | 24:48
So the timeline that is starting to form in my head is 2018, lose your job at Boeing, mom passes away. And it's between 2018 to 2023, before you make it to Salem, that seems to be this period of just existing and trying to survive. Right. In and out of cars, losing cars, couch surfing, in and out of tents.
Yeah. In the midst of all of that, what did you hang on to for hope?
Paul Fairchild | 25:14
Ooh, that's a good question. Well...
Honestly, like, Just my relationships like that I had like even though they were probably horrible and toxic I did have like that, you know, and I did I deals did still talk to my family They were starting to like cut me off from money and stuff, but they were helping me a little bit So like, you know, I knew that I had the potential to go back to normal life Like the stability I had from Boeing was still kind of supporting me I was still like living off 401ks and like that kind of thing. So that was like a blessing for sure But you know, I had Romantic relationships as well, they were toxic, but it did help me move forward and give me some kind of support and love.
John Marshall | 25:58
And then once you make it to Salem, are you in a vehicle at that point? Are you moving here for housing?
I mean, you mentioned Bridgeway as kind of the first resource that helped stabilize you here. Just walk me through the move to Salem and what were those first days and months like.
Paul Fairchild | 26:16
For you? So before Salem, when I was in my tent, I would, you know, I started to use fentanyl. Because it just flooded the streets of Seattle. It was insane.
Like there was so much fentanyl, John. It was... Insane like There was foils all over the streets in the good neighborhoods in Queen Anne. That's like where the judges live. But like, it was crazy.
Like there was tents everywhere. Everybody was getting addicted and like, it was just pouring in.
Like, it was amazing to me how much fentanyl was coming through our city and people that never used opiates that I knew for 20, 30 years were starting to get addicted to opiates. And eventually I did it too, going through this really bad relationship. And it broke me to the point where I started, I wanted to not feel the pain anymore.
So I started using fentanyl and From that point, my life changed completely. I learned what a physical addiction was. I learned...
Like what it feels like to always want and never to be satisfied. I mean, I could never take a breath without needing something. I could never get comfortable. I was always running, always trying to make money, always trying to get to the next fix. And.
I mean, there's nothing like it in the world. Like, there's no... Nothing to compare fentanyl addiction to. It's... One of the worst drugs. It's garbage.
I mean, heroin's way better, honestly. Like, heroin lasts for six hours. Fentanyl will last for four hours.
So you literally take some fentanyl, four hours later, you're sick. I mean, you can't even get comfortable. You're like literally chasing. You're like on a leash. And it was one of the worst things that I've ever experienced.
So... Basically, When I was in that time, of my life, I would always be dumpster diving if I wasn't stealing. I always tried to dumpster dive first. If I couldn't find any cool stuff dumpster diving, then I would end up breaking into stuff. Because that was just the way I had kind of, like... Wired my brain over the years.
So You know, there was a few people here and there that would like help me out. Like there was like a couple of random strangers that would give me money and like. I remember like somebody giving me 50 bucks. When I was digging through the dumpster and I would like cried I like was like you have no idea I was like so hungry that day dude. I like I was like so high. It was like a summer day. I was hot. I was covered in garbage. Residue and I was just like dude thank you so much like You have no idea like what you've done for me today. And like, I went to Grociala and bought some ice cream. Thank you.
So. So during this fentanyl addiction, It got me plus IV meth use for several years. This caused me to go into a really bad psychosis. And I thought, Everybody's after me. I thought. This and that.
You know, I was and I was in a bad place, you know, I was out there doing bad stuff, hanging out with bad people. So of course, you know, my mind is going to go to somebody who's after me because I'm out there doing evil.
So yeah, so basically I ran away from Seattle and... Not knowing anybody because I knew it would be better off for me to go places where I wasn't associated with all these bad people. I didn't bring a vehicle. I did jump on a train. And Amtrak. And every time I see the Amtrak go by CCS in the back, I always just, it always reminds me of my journey here.
Yeah.
John Marshall | 30:01
So once you actually arrived physically in Salem, you hopped off the Amtrak and you're on 12th street. Yeah.
Paul Fairchild | 30:09
And I see the Ram Restaurant, which is a Seattle location, a Seattle restaurant. No kidding. I didn't even know that.
Yeah, it's in the University of Washington area. And all the college kids.
John Marshall | 30:20
Go there. What an ironic thing then for your first sight, stepping off the train to be this restaurant.
Yeah. But where do you go after you step off that train?
Paul Fairchild | 30:29
So, I was going from hospital to hospital you know, claiming I had asthma attacks because I was just freaked out and I thought people were running after me and stuff. So I was like, go somewhere safe. Go here, there. I eventually ended up, well, I still had some fentanyl on me.
And then when that ran out, I went to Bridgeway. I tried detoxing there. It didn't really work... And I had to go to Marion County to start methadone Did that for about a week, tapered myself off to 5 milligrams, and then I was able to take Suboxone to Ideal Options.
John Marshall | 31:05
The resources you just mentioned, Bridgeway. Marion County. Options.
Yeah. Tell me about those three. What are they? What function do they serve in our community?
Paul Fairchild | 31:16
Bridgeway is... We're great. There's a lot of stuff they do mental health resources. They have, They have a SOAR-certified... Intake person which they do social security, disability applications with people that are homeless. They have peer mentors that kind of help people Basically do tasks and errands and help run around with you and help you kind of complete like some of the everyday tasks that you need to do to be successful. Let's see, Marion County, they have their own behavioral health and substance use department. They basically got me started on methadone for a little bit. I didn't really interact with them as much, mostly because I wanted to get off substances, like, all together.
So I was kind of, like, accelerating it. I did go to Ideal Options eventually when I was on a low enough dose of methadone so that... I could just take my Stripe in the shelter because I went to UGM to kind of find some system?
John Marshall | 32:22
Respite. Okay. And what, tell me about methadone. What is that? What is it intended to do for your.
Paul Fairchild | 32:28
Methadone is an opioid replacement therapy. So you use it gives you the same effects as any, basically any opioid. It's a full opioid agonist.
So it basically fills up the whole receptor, whereas Suboxone is like a partial agonist. And it just builds a part of it, and then it has the other side that's blocked.
John Marshall | 32:53
And so at this time you mentioned moving into UGM. Was that the first place where you really created stability?
Yeah, that was. Tell me about that experience.
Paul Fairchild | 33:03
So I'm thankful to UGM. They've really helped me. I went into their program And You know, I found some community there and I was able to really meet a lot of really cool people that are Christian people.
So, you know, I resonated with that faith and I was able to really honestly really reconnect with God and that's really where, like, my journey started to, like, where I started to succeed and, like, actually move forward with my life. When I submitted my life to God again and said, you have control, Lord, like, I'm done. Doing it my way. I know I can't do this myself. That's when things started going a lot better.
John Marshall | 33:47
And what has the difference been in these last two years for you then?
Paul Fairchild | 33:52
Well. After I did that, you know, I did I was still kind of going my own direction a little bit. I was looking for work. I wasn't trying to join their program, unfortunately, which is a really good program. But their program kind of didn't fit for me, and I was trying to get to work right away and start helping my kids.
So I started looking for jobs, and then I found Church at the Park for a shift lead at one of the shelters. And I applied, and I got a hit back from Melissa.
And then that's kind of what started the whole process with my experience to Church at the Sure.
John Marshall | 34:29
Park. Name for me the different positions that you've had in your time with us.
Paul Fairchild | 34:33
I started as a shift lead at the Village of Hope. That was a really fun job. We got to support all the new residents, all the old residents, build relationships with them. Got to clean port-a-potties, which was basically something that Jesus would have done. Jesus, he's humble and he washes his disciples' feet.
So when I was cleaning the bathrooms, I would always think like, this is God's work right here. We got to feed people. We got to help people with resources to a lesser extent. Secondly, I went to outreach. I worked with Ana Lopez, who was kind of like my mentor a little bit. She taught me a lot about building relationships with people, staying consistent. Being thorough and accurate. And integrity.
So she taught me a lot about that. And she really believes in the Lord, and it was really cool to work with her in that way because she's a really big believer.
John Marshall | 35:41
Yeah, I like him a lot. Yeah.
And then after outreach, you went to CCS.
Paul Fairchild | 35:46
After I had enough outreach for a while, I ended up. Wanting to kind of go somewhere a little more stationary and I went to CCS That experience has been really good. I've really grown a lot there. I still have a lot more to do, a lot more growing to do. But I got to a point where I felt really calm and stable. In my position, so I was able to start working on myself, going back to school. And going to therapy and things like that. That's been a really good experience. I've been able to help a lot of people there. I've moved in like five families, I think so far. Which has been awesome. I've been able to use my lived experience for my addiction to help, you know, moms and dads that are maybe struggling and, And it's really cool because a lot of the kids are like, have gone through a lot of the same things that I've gone through.
So it's cool to give back in that way.
John Marshall | 36:44
Yeah, this is where I want to land for a minute, because what I'm noticing and remembering is that... Your own journey into stability and into a healthier version of yourself is overlapping with your employment with Church of the Park, where you are someone who is leading other people in their own journey. And I really want to know how you have or what you have learned about yourself in particular in this role as you oscillate between. Your own journey and the journey of others. Where do you find that you are developing and growing and giving something back to the world that you're really proud of?
Paul Fairchild | 37:20
I've been definitely like developing a better way of listening and communicating, which was kind of hard for me in the beginning because I was like very. I abused substances like extremely So like my brain was like on half tilt half the time for a while. And, you know, being stable, feeling at peace has definitely helped me to like learn how to listen better. How to communicate better with people. Like realizing that my way isn't everybody else's way, like what could work for me might be horrible for somebody else and like Things like that, you know, just staying person-centered, making sure that they're creating their own journey, making sure that they're involved, giving them opportunities and spaces to basically be self-sufficient.
So instead of doing it for them, like doing it with them, things like that, like applications or whatever. Yeah. Do.
John Marshall | 38:20
You find that there's any particular experience that you have in your past that keeps reappearing as this place of wisdom now for you as you're helping others?
Paul Fairchild | 38:32
I think it's just that like, realizing that like once you hit rock bottom, you're done. It's, you know, and I wish for every person that is struggling with addiction at our shelter, I wish for them to never have to get there. But, you know, a lot of that's that is a lot of people's stories like they have to hit a point. Where they're just ready. And I'll be here for them whenever they're ready. I'm unashamedly always proselytizing for recovery. There's no way that I will ever say that recovery is bad. Because it's just done so much good. And especially if you have kids, it's like really important to. To be in recovery if you're an addict so yeah.
John Marshall | 39:21
I know recovery is really hard. I know it often takes starts and stops. And I know It really requires other human beings to stand in your corner over and over again. When you're tempted to leave your corner. Who are the people who have been influential and important in your own Journey of Recovery.
Paul Fairchild | 39:45
My grandma, she's always stayed with me. She helped me when I was in my worst spot. She's been a solid rock to me. She's 90 years old. She's 89, but she's, and she's still going strong.
So I'm hoping that she lives another 10 years. So that, you know, for my sake, selfishly, but I went to Most Excellent Way quite a bit and that really helped me a lot. It built community in my life and it really helped me to get grounded in the Word of God. And that was really helpful for me.
John Marshall | 40:19
Tell me about Most Excellent Way. What is that and where is it.
Paul Fairchild | 40:22
Located? Most Excellent Way is a Christ-based recovery meeting. They're located in like, I think like 10 different churches around the city. And they're all over the state and all over the country. But yeah, they are, it's a group of men and women who basically, we see that basically addiction, we're overcomers of addiction. We're not. We are not addicts. We are overcomers through the Word of God and through Jesus Christ.
John Marshall | 40:52
Yeah, amen. As you think about where Church of the Park is trying to locate ourselves within the context of homelessness. And attempting to offer solutions and pathways for individuals to find stability in their life. What are the things that you find yourself most proud to be a part of? And, or what are the experiences that you are so proud to bear witness to?
Paul Fairchild | 41:17
Yeah, there's, you know... When I see people, you know, you see them get the light in their eyes. When they get housing or they get employment, they become self-sufficient. That's what really keeps driving me forward is knowing that I'm Actually, walking with families, to help create, you know, patterns that are destructive in their family's lives.
So it's just such a blessing to like... See that actually go the distance, help them get their keys, you know, give them hugs, like all that stuff. It's just wonderful. That's what I really appreciate about this place. That like, we don't, it's really rare for us to give up on people. You have to really screw up to be let go from Church of the Park.
So I really appreciate that we give. A lot of extra chances to people and that we don't like let... Basically give up on them.
John Marshall | 42:23
Yeah, I will affirm and agree. Contribute my own voice of appreciation for that part of our ecosystem that For all the challenges and messiness that comes with being a low barrier shelter environment, and being wildly patient with folks as they, try and try again to Get a ball of stability rolling in the right direction. There's this magic that happens in this environment. And to use your language, the magic for me is the moment when you see the light in their eyes. Where all of a sudden the possibility of a good life becomes tangible and accessible and worth trying again and again for. I want to know from your perspective as someone who's been through hell and back. And is now walking with people through hell and back. What are the things, like if you had a magic wand and you were just, you know, you were in charge of the solution, a solution for homelessness, what are the things that you are most desperate for there to be more of in the world so that more people have the moments where the light enters their eyes?
Paul Fairchild | 43:43
Definitely more affordable housing, like number one, which, you know, I know that we're working on that right now. And there's a lot of talk nationally and locally for better ways to build housing with less regulations, which is wonderful. Let's do that more... I would say like just as far as like sustainability for like individuals to be self-sufficient, like I would say like creating like more Easily accessible job training programs would be really helpful for a lot of the clients I work with. Tickets, car tickets, like please help us community with that so we can like figure out a way to like get these people that are homeless. A way to get their license back quicker so that we can get them employment. I would say vital documents are really important. That's a big one. And mental health.
Like if we can get like a easily accessible telehealth. Or in-person mental health treatment, that would be like, beautiful. I would, I mean, I would utilize it every day with the clients I work with.
So.
John Marshall | 44:58
Yeah. I can imagine.
Someone in the world listening to that list of things going, yeah, that all sounds great. That all sounds super important, but I'm not sure that every single human in the world deserves that. All of that. Or I'm not sure that We should use, you know, the system of taxation to support programs like Church of the Park. And I'm not asking you to pitch any particular methodology for problem solving in the world, but I do wonder... Where do you start to help someone understand the value of investing more resources, more time, more personnel, more money into a population of humanity that so many humans are so tempted to mistrust and judge and say, you are past the point of redemption. We're going to focus our resources somewhere else. Where do you start to respond to that?
Paul Fairchild | 45:54
I think it's important to definitely help people. I would really appreciate it if the churches stepped up more.
You know, the faith community Probably is one of the largest donation donators in the whole country. So like if we could utilize some more of that money towards local and That would be great right now because we're in a situation in America right now that we've never been in.
So we really need to attack it. Like, New taxes are fine if they're utilized right, but I feel like America is like... Really sketchy about like what we've already done with the taxes that we've been, you know, that we've taken from the community.
So like just like more oversight and transparency on the spending, I think would maybe encourage more transparency. You know, to pay more taxes. If we can see where it's going, like we've seen all these things in Portland and other places where we don't know where the money went. We just don't, it just disappeared.
So I think that's what definitely makes people hesitant to, And I just wish that we could fix that part.
John Marshall | 47:04
Of it. Yeah, what you're naming is there's both a reason to be attentive to the system. And We can do that while maintaining attentiveness to the human being. I.
Paul Fairchild | 47:15
Feel like, yeah, I feel like with the money that we do give to the government that we could utilize more of it for the people that are struggling the most.
John Marshall | 47:26
So now turn your message To folks who are still living outside and still in tents and still in cars. What's the thing that... Now, at this point in your own journey, you can look back on and what's the wisdom that you can offer to someone or the word of hope and encouragement that you would give someone in the tent who goes, there's just not a future for me.
Paul Fairchild | 47:49
When I was deep in my addiction, I saw people driving their Lexuses, and I was like, that person is on a different planet than me. But honestly, you got to do the hard things now. And the other side of that is your new reality. Just work with people. Even if you just show up like... Once a week for an hour. Just that little bit of time. That you do Work with somebody like in an organization, they can help you meet your goals.
Like, and, I know sometimes it's hard. You don't have a phone. You don't have this. You don't just show up in person.
Like, just keep asking for help. Don't give up and, you know, just realize that there are people out there that love you and care about you. And you're not alone.
John Marshall | 48:42
That's a good word, and I appreciate that you're... In the role that you are in. Because I know that's a message that does get communicated through your life and through your work to the people that we're serving. And I'm really grateful for that. Thanks, John. You bet. Before we wrap up, one of the goals of this podcast obviously is to highlight humanity. And one of the ways that we like to do that is with a set of 10 rapid fire questions that are asked by people who are interested in the field. Meaningful and silly and... Meaningful and meaningless all at the same time.
So rapid fire. You ready for these questions? Okay. Question number one, Paul, what is the best be it.
Paul Fairchild | 49:22
Dessert? I would say... If there was like an apple and cherry pie at the same time, That would Not even going to pretend.
John Marshall | 49:29
Hey, Jeannie grants you one wish. What do you wish for?
Paul Fairchild | 49:33
It'd be like, A billion dollars. Fair. Not even going to just, I'm not going to say world peace. Because we're human. We're not going to be peaceful. We're humans. There's no way.
John Marshall | 49:44
I appreciate the honesty Okay, question three.
Paul Fairchild | 49:45
So much. Yeah, we're human.
John Marshall | 49:49
Would you rather go back in time and meet your ancestors or travel to the future to meet your descendants?
Paul Fairchild | 49:55
I'd say the because In some way or another, I can kind of connect with my ancestors through my family and through, like, research.
John Marshall | 49:56
Future. Why is that?
Paul Fairchild | 50:06
But, like, you don't know anything about the future. So that would be more interesting for.
John Marshall | 50:10
Me. Yeah, there's a lot more unknown.
Yeah. Okay, number four, cats or dogs? Dogs. Number five, apples or oranges. Apples. Number six, what is your favorite smell?
Paul Fairchild | 50:22
I don't know. I'm not gonna say pine trees because that's what everybody says. EJ. How about orange peels? That actually smells really good. I like orange.
John Marshall | 50:33
Peels. Yeah, you bet.
Yeah. Okay, seven. What is one thing you would add to Salem to make it better?
Paul Fairchild | 50:41
I would say... Maybe like a theme park. It'd be kind of cool.
John Marshall | 50:47
I'd dig a theme park.
Paul Fairchild | 50:48
We kind of have like that Wonderland thing, but if it wish that it.
John Marshall | 50:50
Was. I know. And before you got to Salem, we had Thrillville out South, which is a ton of fun. I wish, I We need a Thrillville to come back.
Paul Fairchild | 50:56
We need a Thrillville.
John Marshall | 50:58
If you're listening Thrillvillers. Make it happen. Alright, question number eight. What piece of advice has helped you the most?
Paul Fairchild | 51:07
Just staying in the moment. And not like always wishing for the future or reminiscing on the past. But just enjoying today. Just. That's like... That's like the key to life.
John Marshall | 51:23
Much easier said than done, right? Amen. Okay, question number nine. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
Paul Fairchild | 51:31
I would say my humor, even though not everybody would agree with me.
John Marshall | 51:36
As long as you can laugh at yourself.
Paul Fairchild | 51:38
Right. There's always a laughter of one person. There you go. At least.
John Marshall | 51:43
You always have an audience member.
Paul Fairchild | 51:45
Amen. Yeah.
John Marshall | 51:47
Okay, question 10. And last question, what is your biggest hope for your future?
Paul Fairchild | 51:52
.. Adam Kind. And that, and remembered.
You know, in a way that is, you know, is good. Like, I remember it in a good way. And I leave a mark on the community in a positive way.
John Marshall | 52:09
That's really beautiful. And I can tell you that today you are kind.
So you're already headed toward that very future. Well, Paul, thank you so much for being a guest on the podcast. Thank you for saying yes to this work and allowing your life. To one, be transformed, but then be an occasion for others to experience transformation too. You exhibit. A infectious joy. And a willingness to keep showing up in hard places over and over again. Trusting that there is a better future available to all of us. I am a better version of myself. I'm a better pastor because I get to watch you do what you do.
So thank you. And I know that Church of the Park is a more beautiful version of itself because you are here as well.
Paul Fairchild | 52:57
Thanks, John. I appreciate that.
John Marshall | 52:59
You're Yeah, absolutely.
Paul Fairchild | 52:59
So welcome. Thanks for having me.
John Marshall | 53:02
And thank you, listeners, for joining us for this episode of the Humanity of Homelessness. Thanks again to Paul for his vulnerability and courage to share his story. We hope his life serves as testimony to the rest of us that there is always good news to celebrate in hard places, and that all of our neighbors are worth our time and attention. If you'd like to remain connected with us at Church of the Park, please visit our website at churchatthepark.org. There you can find opportunities to volunteer, subscribe to our newsletter and weekly liturgy reflections, and stay in the know about our current and future projects. We have an online portal for financial giving. If you have questions for us or want to connect over a cup of coffee, we have lots of team members who would like to pay for your cup. Email us at info at churchofthepark.org. Again, that's info, I-N-F-O, at churchatthepark.org. Thanks y'all, until next time.